Brave Records: Listen

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We talked about it
We decided it is time
There’s even a room upstairs that’s empty

I bought a bunch of books on this topic
Considerably overpriced
I think I’ve worked out most of those nasty knot-holes from my twenties

He gives me a little wink
I give him a little wink
Up the stairs we climb
How come I’m not pregnant?
How come I’m not pregnant?

I look around, every place I see
Thousands and thousands of people
Riding on the bus, riding on the T,
Thousands and thousands of people
Who basically came from somebody’s womb, and that means
Everybody came from someone who got pregnant
How come I’m not pregnant? 0(pause)o

And then I think, No, this is fine
This is a time for me to prepare
Every minute that I am not a mother I am
Getting ready somewhere
I recognize that this time is a gift
Thank you so much

Now I will admit, there is fun in trying
He’s been very laid back, No problem
It will happen when it’s time
Everywhere I look, I think it’s time
How come I’m not pregnant?
How come I’m not pregnant?

And then I think, HEY
Didn’t somebody SAY something about sitting too close to your computer screen
Something about more than four hours a day
Jesus how long did it take me to type in those seven moths worth of Quicken checkbook balances

And then I think HEY
Maybe we should have replaced that leaky microwave oven
I swear to God is has a crack in it, that’s probably why
I’m not pregnant
How come I’m not pregnant?
How come I’m not pregnant?

And then I think, HEY, calm down, you haven’t been trying that long
Some people try for seven years
Oh my god, what am I? Thirty four? Seven years? Forty three?
That’s not going to work for me
How come I’m not pregnant?
How come I’m not pregnant?
How come I’m not?

Catherine Birrer on percussion (Caxixis, Congos, Frame Drum, Pandiero), AHT on vocals. Mixed at Wellspring Sound in Acton Mass.

I wrote "How Come I'm Not?" in a totally unusual way. I had no idea what the song would be about, but I asked Catherine Birrer, percussionist extraordinaire, to come into the studio and record a bunch of percussion tracks--to create any sound she wanted. When I brought them home and listened, I was struck by the fact that they sounded just a bit angry. So I asked myself, "Well, what am I frustrated about?" I was coming up dry and then--BOOM--it hit me: This trying to get pregnant and not succeeding thing is kind of pissing me off. A little. Maybe. The lyrics came in one fell swoop, as I listened to the rhythm. I marched into the studio and banged out
the vocals, and BAM, a song was born. My favorite little epilogue to this song was that, as it happened, I learned a few days later that I was pregnant when I was recording the song. Two beautiful sons later, I know exactly why I didn't get pregnant even one millisecond sooner.